Tag Archives: love

[Matrikulasi] Nice Homework #3 (Part 1): Dear Husband

Materi matrikulasi sesi #3 ini adalah tentang “Membangun Peradaban dari Rumah”. Kami belajar merenung untuk memahami, apa “misi spesifik” diri sendiri, kemudian juga berusaha melihat potensi suami, anak-anak, serta lingkungan, untuk kemudian memahami “peran spesifik keluarga”. Sehingga hidup lebih jelas hendak dibawa ke mana dengan peran yang kita pahami tersebut.

Tentu tidak mudah menjawab pertanyaan demi pertanyaan dalam proses menemukan pemahaman itu. NHW kali ini pun diberikan untuk mendorong terjadinya proses ini.

Kelompok pertanyaan dibagi menjadi tiga kondisi kehidupan yang sedang dijalani: Pra nikah, nikah, dan orangtua tunggal (single parent). Karena saya masuk ke dalam kondisi kedua (nikah), ada 4 bagian yang harus saya kerjakan. Post ini berisi bagian yang pertama.

“Jatuh cintalah kembali kepada suami anda, buatlah surat cinta yang menjadikan anda memiliki “alasan kuat” bahwa dia layak menjadi ayah bagi anak-anak anda. Berikan kepadanya dan lihatlah respon dari suami.”

Berikut surat yang akhirnya saya tulis untuk suami saya:

Dear Husband,

Bagi Mama, Ayah adalah hadiah kejutan dari Allah swt. untuk Mama. Sungguh tidak terbayangkan saat pertama kali kita dipertemukan, bahwa di tahun yang sama kita kemudian menjadi suami istri.

Kejutan yang diikuti oleh dua kejutan lainnya, dua putri kita yang manis, Nayyara dan Kynatha.

Perubahan dari kehidupan lajang jadi istri dan ibu dua batita bukan hal yang mudah. Mama seakan dibangunkan dari tempat tidur yang nyaman dan aman. Kehidupan yang Mama kenal selama puluhan tahun mendadak harus berubah.

Dulu, mau ikut kegiatan apa aja tinggal cus. Mau ngeborong di pameran buku atau ikut event lari, jalan-jalan atau sekadar nonton serial tv kesukaan, bisa Mama lakukan tanpa pikir panjang.

Sekarang, mau ngopi cantik di rumah aja harus nunggu anak-anak tidur siang barengan dulu, itupun dilema sama beresin kerjaan rumah (seringnya sih kopi yang menang 😂). Beli buku juga mikir-mikir, karena uangnya mungkin lebih baik ditabung atau beli kebutuhan lain. Sekalinya beli juga lebih sering buku parenting atau malah buku anak-anak. Mau ikut kegiatan di luar? Harus liat dulu, suaminya ngizinin nggak, bentrok sama acara lain nggak, masuk prioritas nggak biayanya, anaknya bisa diajak atau ada yang bisa dititipin nggak, ASIP-nya cukup nggak. Hehehe…

Mama bersyukur, adalah Ayah pasangan Mama dalam menghadapi semua perubahan itu.

NHW 3-1

Ayah yang menghibur Mama saat sedang sedih, mendengarkan kisah dan keluh kesah Mama. Rasanya senang, juga tenang kalau udah cerita ke Ayah.

Ayah juga mau ngertiin kemampuan Mama mengurus rumah yang masih jauh dari sempurna. Mulai dari sarapan yang seadanya bahkan nggak selalu tersedia, cucian yang menumpuk atau baju kerja yang belum disetrika.

Dalam hal kebersihan, Ayah malah lebih baik dari Mama. Ayah biasa membersihkan kamar kita, menyapu dan mengepel lantainya, menyedot debunya, mengganti seprainya, memastikan anak-anak kita nggak digigit semut atau tungau. Berburu dengan raket nyamuk sebelum tidur pun suka Ayah lakukan demi nyenyaknya tidur anak-anak kita (dan kita semua).

Kamar mandi mungkin paling senang sama Ayah, karena Ayah rajin menyikat lantai juga menguras baknya, setelah membersihkan saringan kerannya. Air kamar mandi paling bening setelah Ayah bersihkan. Munyang aja sampai kagum dan bilang (kurang lebih), “untunglah Aca tu dapet Wen.” Dan setelah liat air di kamar mandi Atok, tante-tante jadi tertarik beli saringan yang sama 😂

Soal mengasuh anak? Ayah pun nggak ketinggalan. Gantiin popok, mandiin, gantiin baju, nyuapin makan, ajak main, ngobrol, dan jalan-jalan, semua Ayah lakukan. Kaya yang Ayah pernah bilang, cuma satu yang Ayah nggak bisa lakuin: Menyusui :)) Kalo soal itu, Mama yang menang ya 😁

Ayah pun rela menghabiskan hari libur untuk mencari penghasilan tambahan.

Iya, Mama emang beruntung. Dapet suami yang seperti Ayah.

Sebelum nikah, Mama pernah bilang, kalau nanti punya suami, mau yang dengerin cerita Mama sampai berjam-jam, bisa diajak diskusi, bercanda, dan seru-seruan bareng. Alhamdulillah doanya terjawab dalam bentuk Ayah.

Ayah juga sabar menunggu sampai anak-anak tidur untuk membicarakan masalah di antara kita, agar nggak sampai bertengkar di depan anak juga nggak menyesal belakangan karena melampiaskan emosi saat sedang memuncak. Ayah menunda, tapi tetap berusaha menyelesaikannya, supaya nggak berlarut-larut dan menjadi duri dalam hubungan kita.

Mama banyak belajar dari Ayah.

Untuk lebih peduli sama orang-orang di sekitar kita, terutama orangtua dan keluarga.

Untuk melapangkan dada dalam menerima dan memaafkan perlakuan orang lain yang kurang menyenangkan sampai menzalimi kita.

Untuk menyebut nama seseorang saat berbicara dengannya, walau cuma dalam interaksi yang singkat, dengan supir taksi online misalnya.

Kalau Mama menggebu-gebu, Ayah lebih tenang dalam menyikapi sesuatu. Kalau Mama seringkali ribet dan banyak pertimbangan, Ayah lebih praktis.

Makasih ya, Ayah, udah jadi diri Ayah yang sekarang. Suami yang terbaik untuk Mama dan Ayah terbaik untuk anak-anak kita.

Dear Ayah yang senyumnya paling manis dan ketawanya bikin Mama ikut seneng, sementara muramnya bikin Mama ikut termenung…

Seperti Mama yang nggak sempurna, Ayah tentunya juga nggak sempurna. Tapi semoga kita bisa lebih banyak berfokus pada kebaikan masing-masing, sambil terus belajar menjadi diri kita yang lebih baik lagi. Demi diri kita dan satu sama lain, juga untuk anak-anak kita. Karena Allah tentu saja, sebagai bagian dari ibadah kita kepada-Nya. Aamiin YRA.

Mama sayang Ayah.

Ttd,

Istrinya Wendy Himawan Purba

Responnya?

Senyuman manis dan sebuah kecupan.

Itu aja saya udah senang sih, karena paling tidak dia tahu bagaimana saya bersyukur dan berterima kasih atas kehadirannya sebagai suami saya.

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2015 Best Nine

2015 had been an amazing year for me. So many life-changing events happened almost out of the blue. ‘God’s plan’ is the best way I could use to explain it all.

The “Best Nine” pictures from Instagram below might give you a glimpse of my “life parade”.

bestnine

So, in short, I met this man that turned into my husband 7 months later and then became the father of our daughter 9 months after.

I actually got married in December 2014, but let just say that everything beginning to get more exciting on the year after that.

In 2015…
I moved out of my parents’ house to his parents’ house.
One of my sisters got married.
I found out that I’m pregnant.
My sister found out that she’s pregnant.
My grandma fell and broke her thigh :'(
My uncle got a stroke and was in a comma because of it :((
My uncle passed away four months later T_T
My beautiful daughter was born.
My pretty niece was born.

In words, it just looks like a few simple sentences, but in real life it feels like an earthquake of emotions, changes, and consequences.

I do have a struggle dealing with all those events (yes, even the happy ones), I too have a hard time adjusting now and then.

I think everyone has their own struggle, it could be something that seems like nothing for someone else, but it could be hard for the one who’s having the battle. I like this quote: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” (some said it’s from Plato).

Back to 2015, it’s behind us now. It’s still astonishing looking back, and despite of all the hardship, the biggest feeling I have is gratitude.

Let’s see what’s the best nine of 2016 :)

*) This post was planned to be finished and published in January 2016, but time deceived me. So here I am, in the middle of the year, doing my regular job at the office, can’t wait to go home to my 9 month old daughter

Please Look After Mom

Can you hold your tears up while thinking about your mother, all the love she’s been giving you through every little things she does? I think most people can’t. I know I’m one of those people.

The story begins when a wife was separated with her husband in Seoul train station. A few stations after, the husband realized that his wife wasn’t following him into the train and rushed back to pick her up, but never found her.

The entire family, the husband and their children, were looking after her. Day after day, week after week, month after month…

“You don’t realize what you have until it’s gone” could be used to describe this story. Only after their mother (and wife) were gone, they started to remember everything about her. How she took a very good care of them. How she sacrificed lots of things, done things that they can’t even imagine doing half of.

Please Look After Mom (goodreads)Of course they always love her, but they were almost too busy with their own lives to really think about how much she meant in each of their lives. While looking for her, they were thinking about her as a person, about her life and dreams. They were asking themselves if she was happy, hoping that she’s okay, wishing that they have done better things for her.

The writer, Kyung-sook Shin,  were using different point of views to write each chapter of the book (the first person, the second person, and the third person point of view all together). It’s pretty confusing at first,  but I kind of enjoy it after a while. I think it helps me to see through the characters eyes better and relate to the story even more.

Back to the first sentence of this post, the answer to that is exactly why I wet my eyes more than once while reading this book. While each character were bringing up memories about their mother, I’m thinking about mine.

When it comes to mothers, what they’ve done for us seems never ending while what we’ve done for her feels like never enough. Still, we tend to take it for granted from time to time, forget to appreciate it as well as we should.

The highest gratitude for all mothers in this world, especially for my own mother. Reading the book, I ended said to myself and pray to God to, “Please Look After Mom”.

Waktu Aku Sama Mika

It did not take a long time for me to read this book. It’s a small 145 pages book with a very simple words used to form the story in it. But in that short time of reading, between those simple words, it delivers nicely a message about one of the most important aspects in life: love.

In form of a diary, the writer, Indi, tells a story about her life when she was still in high school. Yes, it based on true story.

A 15 year old Indi was struggling with her scoliosis condition. It’s not easy to have friends in such condition.  Indi was growing to be a quiet, shy, lack of confident girl.

Then she met Mika, a 22 year old young man. He was fun, kind, and highly confident. He was having AIDS.

Waktu Aku Sama Mika

Through her diary, that she wrote two years after he passed away, Indi tells us about how Mika was, how he had changed her life, and how she was proud to have him as her boyfriend. Her own personal hero.

One thing that I think amazing about Mika is his unconditional love towards Indi. Towards life.

Most people in his condition might feel sad, depressed, maybe even think that life is unfair and death would be better for them. But Mika is so optimistic and full of love. He once said to Indi that she shouldn’t feel like the person with the most pain. Because then, she would not have courage to help other people.

The book reminds me to love sincerely. To be grateful about life. To appreciate what you have. To share kindness no matter what condition you are in. To give people chances to show who they really is.

The book is small and simple. A nice light reading that add some sprinkle of meaning to your daily life.

Habibie & Ainun

Bacharuddin Jusuf Habibie aka B.J. Habibie is the third president of Indonesia (May 21st 1998-October 20th 1999). This post is not about his short period of time as a president though. It is about  the movie that was made based the book he wrote.

“Habibie dan Ainun” (Habibie and Ainun) is both the book and the movie were titled. In the book, Habibie tells us about his life in a form of a novel. We can tell from the title that he want to focus on his life with his beloved wife Hasri Ainun Habibie (Ainun). How beautiful the love they shared together, how much she meant to him and his life. So that’s what the movie also tries to show us. The story of Habibie while Ainun was beside him.

Habibie (Reza Rahadian) and Ainun (Bunga Citra Lestari) was a school mate. They meet again when Habibie got back to Indonesia from German, for a temporary  sick leave. Habibie was accompanying his brother delivering something to Ainun’s parent’s house. There he met a girl that he once mocked ugly years ago in school time. A girl that now has turn into a beautiful woman in his eyes. The girl he instantly fell in love with.

Habibie&Ainun

The movie then shows how Ainun goes with Habibie to German right after they got married. They early life there was not so easy. They didn’t have enough money that Habibie often had to walk to/ from work instead of having a bus. He had to dealt with freezing weather and broken shoes. While Ainun waited for him in their small apartment. Worried about their condition, being in a new country away from anyone she knows, made Ainun feels like going home to Indonesia. But her love for Habibie and the way he convince her that everything would be better, made her decided to stay.

Their life does get better. Habibie’s ideas start to being recognized in German. He then known as a genius whose contributions are highly appreciated there. When their two sons are big enough, Ainun decided to make her own contribution as a doctor in a hospital.

Not so long after that, Habibie was called to come back to Indonesia and serve the country. First as a CEO in Indonesia’s aircraft enterprise, IPTN (Industri Pesawat Terbang Nusantara). Then as a Mininster of Research and Technology (Menristek). He then become a vice president of Indonesia before he replaced Soeharto as the president of Indonesia. Along the way, Ainun was there beside him.

I think the movie has done a good job in showing the audience about the life of Habibie. I can see his love and dedication for Indonesia. It also shows how his love for Ainun and Ainun’s love for him has a great deal of influence in everything he does. Ainun supports and takes care of him when he’s too busy to take care of himself. She was there as his wife, his soul mate, his partner, and his best friend. We can only imagine how much pain and lost he must have feel when she had to leave his side forever.

habibie-ainun last kiss
Habibie is kissing Ainun in her sickness before she passed away

Aside from the romantic part of Habibie’s life, I especially moved by the part where he fight for his dream for Indonesia. One of his dream that is also his promise to Ainun is to make a save and cheap airplane for Indonesia. Indonesia is an archipelago with thousands of Islands spread in its wide territory. So airplane would be a very useful means to connect all island. By creating and producing it domestically, Indonesia would have more plane to reach more places, with cheaper price. Imagine how much it would help us communicate, transporting people or things would become much easy.

As shown in the movie, Habibie worked very hard to make that dream come true. He sacrifices his time with his family, all his energy and mind into the project. That’s why it’s understandable that he was devastated when the project was closed. I’m very disappointed myself (this is the part where I actually feel like crying). To see such a waste of brain and potentials. To watch what could’ve been a great thing for Indonesia was shut down just like that. I feel the same thing when Habibie had to end his presidency in such a short period because the misperception of people that were already too angry about the previous regime.

real-old-HA
The real Habibie and Ainun

One of the best thing from this movie is Reza Rahadian’s brilliant acting as B.J. Habibie. He has a different posture a from Habibie and much taller too.  But I can see Habibie in him. The way he moves and talks. His mimics and gestures are much alike Habibie himself. I think that shows the good quality of his acting even more.

What is lacking from the movie is a good make up. It’s pretty disturbing that neither Habibie and Ainun nor the people around them are get old. It was showing the life of Habibie and Ainun since before they were married after about 50 years later and they almost look exactly the same until the end of the movie. I was having a hard time to imagine them as older characters they suppose to be. In one of the scenes my friend even think that Habibie’s son try to flirt with Ainun because he always stand close to her. I think at some points their sons even looks older than their ageless parents. :-)

Put that flaw aside, I really enjoy watching the movie. Another good Indonesian movie that inspire me to believe in true love, good quality of human being, and a better future for Indonesia.

 

5 cm.

Dream. There are so many books and movies talk about it. This one is included.

5 cm is a movie based on a novel with the same title. Both, novel and screenplay, are written by Donny Dhirgantoro. The movie is directed by Rizal Mantovani  and produced by Sunil Soraya from Soraya Intercine Film.

The title tells about the basic principle of the story:

“To put your dreams 5 centimeters in front of your forehead so you will always bring it with you, never let it out of your sight. That way, you will never forget about them, always put them at your focus, and keep working hard to reach them.”

This principle were held tight inside the heart of five long time best friends who are the main characters of the movie.

Genta (Fedi Nuril), Zafran (Herjunot Ali), Riani (Raline Shah), Ian (Igor Saykoji), and Arial (Denny Sumargono) had been best friends for almost ten years, and there’s no single weekend that they’re not spent together. Until one day, Genta has this idea to break from their routine. He suggested that they stop seeing each other or even communicate in any kind. For three months, each of them should focus on their own activities without each other. Accomplishing their goals and dreams or finding a new one. Meeting new people or trying new things. All by themselves, without their best friends by their side.

After three months, they celebrate their reunion by climbing the highest mountain on the island of Java, Mount Semeru. Also known as Mahameru (The Great Mountain), the volcano lies on the south end of the Tengger Volcanic Complex, in East Java, Indonesia.

It’s a tough even dangerous journey to climb Mahameru. You have to be well prepared and well informed about the field condition. No joking around. You have to be really careful and stay focus if you don’t want to kill yourself. But the most important thing is you have to have a strong will and determination. Just like when you’re fighting to reach your dreams.

One of my favorite quote from the movie is the one being said by the five best friends [plus Arial’s little sister Arinda (Pevita Pearce) who also join the trip] right before they climb Mahameru:

Genta: “Yang kita perlu sekarang hanya kaki yang akan berjalan lebih jauh dari biasanya,”

(all we need now is legs that will walk farther then they used to)

Ian: “Mata yang akan menatap lebih lama dari biasanya,”

(eyes that will stare longer than they used to)

Arial: “Leher yang akan lebih sering melihat ke atas,”

(head that will look up more often)

Riani: “Lapisan tekad yang seribu kali lebih keras dari baja,”

(layers of determinations that are stronger than steel)

Zafran: “Hati yang akan bekerja lebih keras dari biasanya,”

(heart that will work harder than it used to)

Arinda: “Serta mulut yang akan selalu berdoa.”

(and mouth that will always pray)

They were all struggling to climb the mountain. The fact is there are people that actually lost their lives climbing it. But what they get in the end is totally worth all the risk.

On the jeep, before climbing

I love how the hardship in climbing Mahameru shown as the analogy of fighting for your dreams. That no matter how hard or how impossible the dream might seemed, if you really believe it, if you have strong enough faith and determination, you can achieve anything. If you let it, if you don’t give up, the journey towards the dream will shape you, make you stronger and wiser. And in the end, you will see the beauty of your dream, like the amazing view of the land above the cloud Mahameru offers.

I can’t stop admire the view this movie shows. I think that is one of the strength that makes the movie stands out. But, without a good story, it will only be an entertainment to the eyes. A nice story line and messages it brought is what makes the movie worth watching. The story also has strong characters in it. We can see a clear difference between each character. What kind of person they are like, what are their interest, till the smallest habit that make them who they are.

I also have to give an extra credit to the casts. They manage to play each character naturally. You can feel the chemistry of the friendship. And the fact that they (and the entire crew) are actually climb Mahameru. Going trough all those risks and difficulties for the sake of the movie… Respect!

After an accident while climbing Mahameru

I think, love lies in small details. So does friendship. The small most common thing from someone is the thing that we will miss the most about them, for they already become part of our lives. We can see how close their friendship are from some small details they remember about each other. Like the scene when Riani  orders food for the rest of the group with the specifications that only she knows.

Or when Genta said: “Kalau Ian makan indomie, sebentar lagi Riani bilang…” (when Ian eats indomie, in a minute Riani will say…)

Riani: “Ian minta kuahnya dong.” (Ian, can I have some of the broth, please)

Some people might say that the story is cheesy, but for me, it works pretty well in delivering the message about love, friendship, dream, and faith in the limited duration of the movie. The story flows nicely with some drips of comedy. Oh, and of course, the beautiful movie soundtracks by Nidji  enhanched the spirit of the movie.

Last but not least, this movie reminds me of how beautiful Indonesia is. How we, Indonesian people, should be proud of it, give everything we can to take care of it. We’re the one who should build our country and make the best out of its potentials, of our potentials. Like the characters said in the movie:

Zafran: “Negeri ini begitu indah, Tuhan. Bantu kami menjaganya.” (this country is so beautiful, God. Help us take care of it)

Ian: “Gue pake tanahnya, minum airnya, masa nggak ada terima kasihnya?” (I use the land, drink the water, how can I don’t show gratitude [to Indonesia])

There’s a lot to love about Indonesia. This movie shows a part of it. It also prove to some people that don’t believe Indonesia can produce a good movie, that they’re wrong. Keep creating, Indonesia! :)

P.S. Apparently, there are some critics on the climbing requirements detail from some experienced climbers. I do think detail is important in a movie, to make it seems real and not to give the wrong impression on something. In this case, also for the safety of they who interested to climb Mahameru or other mountains after watching the movie 😀 Here‘s a link to an article that points out what is not accurate from the movie and how it supposed to be.