Category Archives: Life

2016 Best Nine

BestNine 2016

2016 was the year when I enjoy my life watching my first born grew.

Her laughter and smiles. The first time she sat down, stood up, and made a mess out of everything.

The first time she said Mama and words that kept coming afterwards.

Her first teeth. Her first meal. Her first step.

It was the year she’s finally able to hug and kiss me back along with her ability to say no.

2016 was the year I found out I was pregnant again with my second daughter.

When I was excited and worried, happy that another baby was coming yet feeling a bit sorry for the baby I already held in my hand.

The year I was struggling to keep breastfeeding my child while my breastmilk was getting less during pregnancy and the talk about how it’s not good for my daughter and the baby and myself so I should just stop made it even harder.

It was the year my daughter had her first birthday.

It was the year I decided to be a Rangkul and enrolled myself into my first (and then my second) K4.

It was a great year indeed. Alhamdulillah.

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2015 Best Nine

2015 had been an amazing year for me. So many life-changing events happened almost out of the blue. ‘God’s plan’ is the best way I could use to explain it all.

The “Best Nine” pictures from Instagram below might give you a glimpse of my “life parade”.


So, in short, I met this man that turned into my husband 7 months later and then became the father of our daughter 9 months after.

I actually got married in December 2014, but let just say that everything beginning to get more exciting on the year after that.

In 2015…
I moved out of my parents’ house to his parents’ house.
One of my sisters got married.
I found out that I’m pregnant.
My sister found out that she’s pregnant.
My grandma fell and broke her thigh :'(
My uncle got a stroke and was in a comma because of it :((
My uncle passed away four months later T_T
My beautiful daughter was born.
My pretty niece was born.

In words, it just looks like a few simple sentences, but in real life it feels like an earthquake of emotions, changes, and consequences.

I do have a struggle dealing with all those events (yes, even the happy ones), I too have a hard time adjusting now and then.

I think everyone has their own struggle, it could be something that seems like nothing for someone else, but it could be hard for the one who’s having the battle. I like this quote: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” (some said it’s from Plato).

Back to 2015, it’s behind us now. It’s still astonishing looking back, and despite of all the hardship, the biggest feeling I have is gratitude.

Let’s see what’s the best nine of 2016 :)

*) This post was planned to be finished and published in January 2016, but time deceived me. So here I am, in the middle of the year, doing my regular job at the office, can’t wait to go home to my 9 month old daughter

Why first. How later.

Why you live determine how you live your life.

Your purposes in life (the why) help you manage your time, make your choices and priorities (the how).

If you don’t know why or you don’t truly feel the why, it will hard to think of any how.

A strong reason gives you a strong sense of purpose (the why). They will become the energy to keep doing what you’re doing and find endless way (the how) to reach those purposes.

A strong why creates a strong will. A strong will creates endless kind of ways.

*I found this note on my cellphone the other day. Wrote this years ago. I think it’s time to let it see the world.

Welcoming March

I just decided to start a new strategy on my last post, then the next week I forgot to post at all -_-”

So, here comes March, and this is my post to welcome the new month.

It’s not always easy to deal with changes, but changes happen so there’s no other way than learning to deal with it.

I adapt, with my own way and time, to all changes in my life.

I cried and laughed through some of it. I felt uncomfortable and scared. Then I got used to it, and everything is okay again, if not better.

One thing for sure, I grew. I became a person I would never be without those changes. Mostly a better one. Someone with more perspective and understanding. With more patience and empathy. I became more sensitive with things I didn’t realize before, more grateful of precious things I used to take for granted.

I learn to be stronger, to have more will and determination.

I’m not saying that I’m perfect now. That it would be easy to face any change and hardship from now own.

I just learn that no matter how hard things get, it will be okay again in time.

Changes are fine. See you February.. Welcome March! :)

So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

[The Holy Quran – Al-Insyirah: 5-6]

As I Destined to Be

Today, years ago, was the day when God gave me the chance to see the world for the first time. The chance to live and do whatever I meant to do as one of His perfect creation.

Today means another year of my life had passed and the day when I finally have to leave this world is getting closer.

Today is a reminder that I was here for something. That I was born into this world to do my part, to make a contribution.

Because it’s true, right?

Nobody is here for no reason.

Life is a great gift but also a huge responsibility.

It’s the chance to enjoy all beauty it offers, then create the best thing we could from it.

This is the day when I was born.

I can never stop be grateful for the chance to live and for the life I’ve been having so far.

With all the love and birthday wishes I got today, I wish I could make the most of my existence in this world. To really make my birth means something. Not only to people that I love,  but to as many life as possible.

As I destined to be.

Katsumoto: Do you believe a man can change his destiny?
Algren: I believe a man does what he can until his destiny is revealed.
– The Last Samurai –

If You Want to Have, Be.

If you want to have, be.

I think that’s how it works. I think that’s what we meant to do.

We are here to become. And we got what we ‘deserve’.

We were meant to give.

To focus on our own roles in this world. To give our best in each of the roles.

We should focus on what we can give. What we can do to help. What kind of favor we can offer to make things better.

We make sure that every breath counts. That every step worth something.

That there’s nothing useless from our existence, from the life God has given to us.

What people give us in return is not our problem. How they responded is not really our job to think about.

Allah will count all kindness and effort to the smallest. He wouldn’t miss a thing. Every single thing we do will come back to us in a way we sometime couldn’t even imagine.

When we put our expectation on people, we might get dissapointed. But when we let go everything to Allah, we could be sure that we always get the best thing in return for what we have done. All the time.

So, if you want to a have a great friend, be a great friend.

Be the friend you want to have.

Be the daughter or son you want to have.

Be the spouse you want to have.

Be someone with qualities you want to see in a person.

Be the best you could possibly be. Do the best. Give the best of you.

Then let God take care of the rest. Let the system works.

You’ll have what you deserve.  Who you are will determine what or who you’re trusted with in this world.


Betapa waktu mampu mengubah sesuatu yang tadinya sangat biasa menjadi begitu luar biasa.

Betapa waktu mengajarkan kita untuk menghargai setiap saatnya, beserta momen di dalamnya. Karena ia segera berlalu, kemudian tidak lagi bisa dikunjungi, kecuali di alam hayal dan mimpi.

Betapa rindu hanya berbalas sepi, karena sekeras apapun berusaha, kita tak akan pernah bisa kembali.

Betapa bahkan ketika bertemu, rindu tak terobati, karena bukan hanya manusianya yang dirindui, tapi momen yang telah pergi.


“Sesungguhnya hal yang paling jauh adalah masa lalu.” –al-Ghazali

Crazy is

Crazy is how I seems to forget about my dreams. Or how much fun I used to have making them.

Crazy is how I lost any spirit to even look at them. Not even think of making them come true.

Crazy is “to-do-lists” that I never really make again, or when I kinda did, not even trying to get it done.

Crazy is how moments of my life just seems to fly away so fast that I can’t believe they’re gone.

Crazy is how changes are keep coming that even before I get used to one change, I already have to deal with another one.

Crazy is how “peaceful” my life is, but I still feel so confused and scared and worried and tired.

Crazy is how there are many things I could be grateful about, yet I still feel like crying from time to time.

Crazy is created inside my mind.

I just have to stop thinking crazy.

Then everything will stop being crazy.

And I will be fine again.

Aku Ingin Berpura-pura

Terlalu banyak. Yang terjadi dan tidak dituliskan. Yang dipikir dan tidak dijabarkan. Yang dirasa dan tidak diungkapkan.

Marah jarang muncul akhir-akhir ini. Mungkin sedih, takut, gundah, kecewa. Tapi bukan marah. Tidak marah.

Entah kenapa rasanya malah jadi lebih lemah.

Apa karena marah yang biasa jadi bahan bakar perubahan?

Apa marah yang seringnya membuat jadi ingin berubah? Ingin mengubah?


Rasanya jadi seakan kehilangan arah.

Memang mungkin biasanya pun tak jelas hendak ke mana. Tapi kali ini hampa.

Tak sampai pada batas tak percaya. Hanya seperti ingin lari saja.

Ingin pura-pura lupa. Dan tidak tahu apa-apa.

Ingin merasa kalau semua baik-baik saja.

Kalau semua orang bahagia. Kalau lelah itu tidak ada.

Sedih itu hanya rekaan semata. Sakit itu hanya pura-pura. Hal-hal yang hilang itu hanya bercanda.

Ingin pura-pura hidup di masa semua masih ada.

Di masa yang terlihat hanya yang indah saja.

Di mana semua orang dewasa masih muda. Dan yang perlu dilakukan hanya bermain saja.

Memang pura-pura tidak bisa mengubah apa-apa.

Tidak menuntaskan lelah, atau mengobati luka.

Tapi jika bisa sedikit meringankan sedih, biar hanya sementara…

Aku ingin berpura-pura. Sebentar saja.